Thursday, February 24, 2011

Treading Water

Kicking will only do so much for so long. You won't drown, but you won't get anywhere either. You'll tire out eventually. The treading, the waiting for a rescue, seems futile and fruitless. Allowing yourself to live, yet in such stressed circumstances, becomes an argument of quality of life over its quantity. So, you let yourself succumb to the water. And below its transparent surface, you dip.

This is another moment.
Another situation entirely.
You are now faced with the imminent prospect of death. Up above the surface, death seemed peaceful and like a good idea, but now... The water is filling up your nose and mouth, pressing in on your chest. Death is rushing in on you fast and from all sides. The great unknown yawns beneath you, ready to swallow you up as soon as you surrender, but the overwhelming fear of it all rushes to your limbs, causing you to kick and swim.

Your face breaks the surface.
You take a big gulp of air.
Your heart, hammering wildly beneath your sternum, courses the now dissipating adrenaline through your arteries. And you curse yourself for being a coward.
Too scared to live.
But too scared to die.

So you continue to tread water.

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